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Rupert, hot dog champ

(whispering) I’m here with Rupert, famous six time hot dog liberator, on what locals call the Alabama Back Nine.

After a record-setting finish in the Poop Walk 500, our champion wasn’t finished! We’re here, watching, as the neighbors grill just on the other side of the fence.

Nevermind the fact someone is having a backyard barbecue on a Wednesday morning. Those are not the questions a champ asks.

No, an opportunity must not be missed, and, wait a minute, I’m being told, yes, he’s taken off his traditional hot dog eating bib and his collar too! Our competitor has stripped naked and… there he goes!

Becoming almost two dimensional, he’s slipped through the fence!

And, yes, those are the typical screams one might hear. I also hear garments tearing, a baby crying, and quite possibly a weed whacker engine being used as a weapon!

But wait! Here he comes! My god, he’s done it! Seven years in a row and will this record stand forever?

Not pausing for an interview, Rupert has vanished down the ramp, and I’ve already received word he’s left the building!

I need a cigaretteĀ 

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