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Blakely Sniffs the Neighborhood

A radio drama

[Dramatic Music] Time now for another installment of… Blakely! Sniffs! The Neighborhood!

We now go live to Alex Rodriguez in Lexington.

(whispering) Thank you, Ken. I’m at the corner of Short and Broadway where traffic has stopped in all directions and a crowd has gathered, but you could hear a pin drop as the city holds its breath.

Everyone is rapt as Blakely has stopped on her daily walk to put her nose to the ground, and the burning question is: What has she found?

Oh, there she goes! She’s tilted her head, and I believe that’s the Tagawa Technique of filling one nostril then the other with a scent. Each with its own receptors, they act in unison way upriver of the sensory nerves.

Hey, you hush, pal! I’m a reporter!

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Excuse me. As I was saying, Blakely has now paused, head cocked to the side in thought. A woman beside me has just fainted! The tension here is so thick, it’s difficult to breathe!

The dog walker has now bent down, and Blakely has put her nose to their ear. Oh, I just can’t stand it! Everyone nearby has gripped their neighbors’ hands. Strangers and family members, fingers intertwined, await her discovery.

The dog walker is standing, clearing their throat. Here it comes!

“Blakely is pleased to report… hobo pee.”

I’m not sure if you can hear me over the thunderous applause, but the crowd has exploded! I’m being hugged and tossed around in a fervor! The church bells are ringing, car horns honking, throats bursting with cheers!

Today will live on in history! Everyone will know where they were when they heard the news, and it is this reporter’s humble opinion that in a year’s time, Blakely will be at the top of the list for most popular baby names, for boys and girls!

I’m Alex Rodriguez, reporting live from Lexington.

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Tune in next time for… Blakely! Sniffs! The Neighborhood!